Dear friends and family,
This is a note of appreciation for all your efforts in
trying to give me names that you thought befit me or names that you
subconsciously felt describe me. It is also my way of reminding you that my baptism had no
hitches.
It all started in primary school in Uganda, when friends (Duncan Kawooya and Paul Rugambwa et alia) called me "Italiano". OK, just
so that we are clear, a child born of two white Italians can never be my
colour. I'm told this was because they often saw me in the company of Italians
and heard me speak the language as well. Also because, I had everything apart
from my school uniform, made in Italy.
I went on to junior high school, where I was called "byala" (by Dennis Ssekitto and his cronies).
Finger or toe nails in luganda are called "enjala" so
"byala" would mean big nails or it could be the short form of one of
my names Sebyala, which means chief of reaping since "kubyala" is the
luganda verb for harvesting. Then came (Bisoto) who referred to me as Mr Bean;
really? I neither look like one Rowan Atkinson nor did strange comedy for a
living. I'm not a white man either! His name sounds like a misspelt
"bisooto", luganda for mud.
Moving on to senior high school, where (Tom
Eloyu et alia) called me "Kulezze" (read crazy). I was not crazy and
I'm not. Also here, they (Keith Kayondo and other fools) called me
"Frenchman"; what?!? I will reserve my comments since there is no
space between French and man.
Into Kenya, in college, they (Ernest Sethieli and Oscar Chogo) decide to call me "Mr Pussy". I learnt that this was because I
loved cats, I still do but if that was the reason, you could as well have
called me "Leo".
"Yala" was my nickname at University level because one
(Simon Githaiga) and I liked to use "just a little bit" which would be "ka yala just" (a mixture
of English and slang luganda).
After graduation, came (Edwin Kiptoo) whom I call "Chiputwo"
because of one (Davis Ntare) who found it best to say it that way one Saturday
morning or was it Friday night? Anyway, Edwin called and still calls me
"kasepiki" and lately "kaseps" as a short form. This word
means "small saucepan" in luganda spoken in some parts of Uganda. He
might have heard this from a song by Ugandan artiste Bebe Cool (Moses Ssali), kasepiki, which he likes but I
wonder why this should be my nickname. Ntare calls me "blood",
luganda slang for your very close relative.
Some of the boys I used to play basketball with (Fredrick
Mwaluda - RIP and others) used to call me "Allan noble". Fred still does;
I must say this is one of the real descriptions of who I am!
Today, some Liverpool FC fans in Kenya (David Mjei, Josiah
Karanja, Tush Ole Muyah, etc.) call me "D'Lubega" which sounds like
"dilubega". I have no problem with that. Actual pronunciation is
"Dhubega".
I cannot forget (Martin Ngatia, Wairimu Gitau, George
Njuguna and Richard Munyao) who call me "Munosh"; I don't know why. I
call George "Njagna" (that's Njuguna in a careless cockney accent)
and for Martin, I maintain the good old alias "tin man" as opposed to
the braw Latino one "Tinos". For Richard, I simply maintain
"Munyao".
As for my adult friend (Baker Saku ), he has called me "AM" (for
Allan Munobwa) and lately "Mr Munobwa", which another friend (Ann Matheri) calls me
too, and that is OK. I just hope he can simply call me "Mr EM" as this
is what is proving to be popular now, thanks to social media.
Family have tried all things: sister (Janet Ndagire) has
called me "Kafumisi" (which means one who pinches?); I don't know if
I pinched people a lot when I was a child. Once in a while she calls me
"muganda wange" which simply means "my sibling".
(Paul Kabaale), whom I call "chipolopolo" or
"papa vogo" (because of the powerful range rover he owns that ladies
like) calls me by the first name of any girl I would be dating; so if I dated
hundreds, I wonder how confused he would get.
As for (Luwambo), from junior high school to date, he has
maintained "muko", luganda for brother-in-law, yet none of us will
marry the other's sister.
At work, some people refer to me as "kamwana". This is a Kikuyu (Kenyan most popular local language) word for "young man". It could be attributed to what one immigration officer called me one day, during a "routine check" to ascertain that non-Kenyans operating business in Kenya have all requisite documents. The same in reference to the current president of Kenya, Uhuru Kenyatta. His father, Jomo Kenyatta was the "baba" (big man).
Today, many new and great friends and business partners (Isaac Kyagaba, Isaac Sengooba, Ferguson Paul, Daniel Baguma, Naurice Balinda, Jamil Matovu, Charles Babumba, Martin Musinguzi, Hakim Salum, Hassan Kawesa, Hussein Kigozi and Charles Okubal) call me Mr M.
At work, some people refer to me as "kamwana". This is a Kikuyu (Kenyan most popular local language) word for "young man". It could be attributed to what one immigration officer called me one day, during a "routine check" to ascertain that non-Kenyans operating business in Kenya have all requisite documents. The same in reference to the current president of Kenya, Uhuru Kenyatta. His father, Jomo Kenyatta was the "baba" (big man).
Today, many new and great friends and business partners (Isaac Kyagaba, Isaac Sengooba, Ferguson Paul, Daniel Baguma, Naurice Balinda, Jamil Matovu, Charles Babumba, Martin Musinguzi, Hakim Salum, Hassan Kawesa, Hussein Kigozi and Charles Okubal) call me Mr M.
I hope in future people can address
us (her and I) as "Professor and Mrs Munobwa".
